Grief and loss can gush like water and run for days, weeks, even years –finding routes into the tiniest cracks and crevices of our innermost being. Sometimes the seed of suffering and loss gets lodged between a rock and a hard place and forces it to crack open until the cracking and the spilling make you feel like life is over …leaving in its wake the feeling that it’s the end of the world as I know it and you don’t feel very fine at all. The shell of comfort and protection has been ruptured and our insides are left gaping …vulnerable and bare.
I watched a mama-friend spill out her grief as she agonized over the loss of her 30 year-old daughter. Too soon. Too much. Too tragic. Open caskets can crack open any heart.
I held her face …one mama to another. I have a daughter the same age. Words don’t hold water. Love does. Love holds the weeping and gives space for the joy and the sorrow to mingle freely.
You pray she has reason to get up in the morning. You pray she doesn’t lose heart …that true joy will come in the morning after the weeping rain. You pray that the Comforter will wrap His arms around her with the weight of His glory and you trust the Father’s love to hold her, knowing His mercy and grace also have a way of raining down on every cracked open seed– producing a ray of hope!
Our own son has been going through a battle of his own and the soul of a man can feel the skull of his existence cracked open …wondering if it will ever be put back together again. Scans. Scopes. Specialists. Sans answers.
And there is loss that lands like a rock too heavy to bear up underneath –crushing us with painful force against the wall of emotions until we break apart.
But hope still lives even though it seems all is lost and we watch for the tiniest sprout of tender green to emerge from the cracks. Life. God always gives life after death. He told me that in my own deep loss. He always gives life after death.
I’ll start looking and watching and praying and hoping and waiting for that life to sprout from the spaces between the rock and the hard places. Beauty. Growth. Renewal. Hope. The wild flowers that sprout up in the most unlikely places where you thought all hope was gone — uninhabitable.
And we feel and ache out this hope that “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
And we believe and have faith in Jesus Christ to redeem and restore what has been lost.
“It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.”
And we pray that we can somehow keep our eyes on what is unseen …eternal …what really matters.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
And we keep walking it out together with a Holy and Loving Father Who takes us by the hand and whispers, “I am with you always. I will never leave you. Sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.”
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